english humour

Apparently, there is a school girl somewhere in the UK with the same name as me and every now and then, I get forwards intended for her. I usually delete them, but this was the subject so I read it. And just had to share! Enjoy. xo




The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked
the entire length looking for a seat, but the only
seat left was taken by a well- dressed, middle-aged,
French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that
seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no
one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little
Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only
seat left was under that dog. Please, ma'am. May I sit
down? I'm very tired." She snorted, "Not only are you
Americans rude; you are also arrogant!" This time the
Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The
woman shrieked, "Someone help me put this American in
his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir,
you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the
wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You
drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And
now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out
the window."